Worried Excitement

So, our BIG ULTRASOUND is in five days and last night I lost my shit just thinking about it. I told my mom that there are very few things in life that could insight so much worry and yet so much excitement at the same time. I just don't really know how to deal with it. I cried and cried and cried last night to The OP. He was completely baffled (typical) because he couldn't figure out what was wrong. I am just so wound up with worry over this pregnancy. Every little twinge, ache, discharge (sorry gross I know), pain, etc sends me into the oblivion of freaking out. This ultrasound is no different. We haven't seen the baby since week 11. I haven't heard the heartbeat since week 15. Having a baby with health problems can happen to ANYONE. That's what The OP didn't understand with my worry. He kept saying "why do you think that something is wrong with the baby, like what?" I just told him that I don't THINK anything is wrong with the baby, but it can happen to anyone. There is a little girl, probably about three years old that we often see at a local restaurant that we frequent. She has no legs...her siblings are all 100% healthy, but she has no legs. You know that she was born that way. You know that her parents did nothing wrong to cause this problem...it just happened. That was my point to The OP. I want to be sooo excited about this ultrasound, about this moment in our lives...and I'm going to be. I'm determined to be. BUT, that doesn't negate the fact that it is possible that something is wrong. We have many people praying though, that nothing is wrong. That everything is fine. God has blessed us with this child. We are blessed beyond measure. Please, God bless us with it's health.

Stay tuned for my post about gender craziness...