Weekend Wrap up

Lens Vesicle, Nasal Pit, Hand Plate Begin
•••••
SIZE: 11.0 - 14.0 mmTIME PERIOD: 44 - 48 days post-ovulation

Head and NeckNerve plexuses (network of intersecting nerves) begin to develop in the region of the scalp. Eyes are pigmented and eyelids begin to develop and may fold.
Thorax - Within the heart, the trunk of the pulmonary artery separates from the trunk of the aorta. Nipples appear on the chest. Body appears more like a cube. Abdomen - Kidneys begin to produce urine for the first time.
Pelvis - Genital tubercle, urogenital membrane and anal membrane appear.
Limbs - The critical period of arm development ends, and the arms are at their proper location, roughly proportional to the embryo. However, the hand plates are not finished, but develop further in the next two days. The wrist is clearly visible and the hands already have ridges or notches indicating the future separation of the fingers and the thumbs.
Spine - Ossification of the skeleton begins.

This past weekend was a very busy, but wonderful. Saturday I was able to see many of my best friends as we gave a baby shower for another of our friends. Our shower went off without a hitch and a great time was had by all. Later that night we went out to dinner for another girls birthday. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with these girls since most of us live in different cities. I really cherish every moment that I get with them. They are the best! Sunday we celebrated my grandmother's 79th birthday. She's such a great woman and we just spent the afternoon visiting and catching up with everyone. It was nice.

BTW, Saturday myself and a friend of mine who is about 22 weeks pregnant ventured off to Po.ttery Barn Kids. She finished buying a few things for her son's nursery while I drooled. They have a crib in there that I would LOVE to have. Of course it's like a million dollars but still! They really have some beautiful stuff. It got me really excited to decorate!

The Short List

• People keep asking me how I'm feeling and they seem to not like it when I say that I'm not feeling all that well. They give me this look. I'm thinking...why did you ask then? It's not as if I'm going to lie.
• I finally got to hold baby Ana yesterday! There's nothing quite like holding a 4 lb. baby. Definitely a unique experienced. She's beautiful and I can't wait to see her again.
• I'm already nervous about my appointment on Friday. Praying Praying Praying that everything is O.K.

Ultrasound #1

February 14, 2008 turned out to be one of the most memorable days of my life. At our doctor's appointment we had an ultrasound and the baby is in the right place, it's measuring the right size, and we heard the heartbeat! It was the most amazing sound I have ever heard. I will never forget it! I had told myself to not get too excited about the heartbeat since it was so early...so I just wasn't expecting it. The tech flipped a switch and we heard the most beautiful music of our child's beating heart. What a moment! What a miracle!!!

My weight was good, my blood pressure was perfect (thank you medicine)...it really was an all around great day. After the ultra sound they took us into the business office and laid all of that out for us. Financial-wise it doesn't really sound all that bad. We are going to go ahead and start making some monthly payments so that by the time the baby comes we are done paying or almost done paying. I was surprised to be taken to the business office...just wasn't expecting it.

We have told almost everyone. I'm seeing a few of my close friends tomorrow for lunch and I'm going to tell them then. Then I'll call or email everyone else. I had thought that I would be nervous or reserved about telling people about the baby, but I haven't been. It's been easy for me and I've really enjoyed it. I say "I" because The OP has not been able to keep the secret at all and has already told ALL of his family and friends. Typical OP. It was a little weird for everyone at work to know. We work at a construction company with a bunch of men and I've had rough, scruffy, dirty men congratulating me all day long! It has been endearing, really...I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Here's what's going on with the baby right now. I am 6 weeks 2 days according to LMP; 30 DPO.

The first thin surface layer of skin appears covering the embryo.
•••••
SIZE: 4.0 - 6.0 mmTIME PERIOD: 26- 30 days post-ovulationn
The arches that form the face and neck are now becoming evident under the enlarging forebrain. By the time the neural tube is closed, both the eye and ear will have begun to form. At this stage, the brain and spinal cord together are the largest and most compact tissue of the embryo.A blood system continues to develop. Blood cells follow the surface of yolk sac where they originate, move along the central nervous system, and move in the chorionic villi, the maternal blood system.Valves and septa may appear in the heart in Stage 12.The digestive epithelium layer begins to differentiate into the future locations of the liver, lung, stomach and pancreas.

Rant-a-licious

This is going to be a rant about The OP's ex-wife and my mother-in-law. (she's The OP's step mother so does that make her my step mother in law?)

Saturday night we went to The OP's aunt's house to celebrate his grandmother's birthday. All of the immediate family was going to be there. Now, let's review that The Op's father is married to his ex-wife's mother. Let's also review that the two families do not mix. The OP's siblings DO NOT get together with the step mother's siblings. We show up to the get together Saturday night and Aunt S informs me that my mother in law has said that the bee-otch is coming with her husband and bring the boys (D and C). I was in shock! Everyone else was in complete shock! I'm telling you that The OP's family (especially his brother and sister) H-A-T-E his ex-wife. We were all just completely dumbfounded as to why she came! I was SO mad at my step mother in law. She KNEW that Micheal and I are expecting a baby and that this would be the first time that we had been around his family since we found out and she had the NERVE to invite the bee-otch and her unfortunate husband! People wanted to talk to us about the baby, we wanted to talk about the baby, but nooooo we couldn't because SHE was there. Also, we have not told D and C yet. We wanted to tell them in person and not until after at least the first ultrasound. I mean I can't imagine anything worse than trying to explain it to them if something goes wrong. Talk about tension! It was absolutely horrible. Thank goodness for my sister-in-laws (it's not often that that phrase comes out of my mouth)...they really saved me. I was all for D and C being there. But seriously, their grandparents could have brought them! The OP and I just really felt like this was a slap in the face. I mean if I cannot even go to a family get together without worrying about seeing HER, then I just won't go. I haven't really talked to The OP about this...I think that I tried to block it from my mind. Why oh why do things like this always have to happen?

Frankly, the more that I think about it I blame my mother in law even more than I blame the bee. I'd like to just dot her in the eye.

Happenings

Two Pharyngeal Arches Appear
•••••
SIZE: 2.5 - 3.0 mmTIME PERIOD: 23- 25 days post-ovulationn
Thirteen to twenty pairs of somites are present and the embryo is shaped in a modified S curve. The embryo has a bulb-like tail and a connecting stalk to the developing placenta.A primitive S-shaped tubal heart is beating and peristalsis, the rhythmic muscle contractions propelling fluids throughout the body, begins. However, this is not true circulation because blood vesel development is still incomplete.At this stage, the neural tube determines the form of the embryo. Although the primary blood vessels along the central nervous system are now connecting in Stage 11, the central nervous system appears to be the most developed system. If twenty somites are present in the embryo, the forebrain is completely closed.

So, that is what all is going on with peanut right now. I love the scientific aspect of the site. I also get updates from baby center, and baby ga.ga. I'm just so interested in what is going on inside of me! It is truly miraculous.

In other news, I have been afraid to have sex. I know that everyone says that it's fine and I know that for most people it IS fine, but on the flip side I have read so so many accounts of women that once they have had sex...everything goes south. Then I was afraid to or.gasm because of reading that an orgas.m is really a uterine contraction. I also know that when women have had trouble becoming pregnant their REs usually recommend no sex for the first several weeks. So, I was a little freaked. I'm sure that it was unnecessarily. Well, The OP was suffering (unjustly and horribly according to him) so we did the deed. So far so good. I really have not much of a sex drive though. Maybe that will return later on? It would be nice. Sex drive...where are you?

I also feel like a pharmacy unto myself. One prenatal vitamin per day, bp medicine three times per day, metformi.n once a day, and a prog.esterone su.ppository before bed. Quite the cocktail, huh? It's a little crazy, but like most women I am willing to do WHATEVER it takes to get this baby here safely. Let's hope and pray that my efforts are rewarded.

I'm having an ultrasound next Thursday and when I tell people this they seem shocked. Is this not normal? My OBGYN office's website says that they always do an early ultrasound to date the pregnancy. So, I'm wondering why there are so many shocked faces.

My plan is that if everything goes well with the ultrasound on Thursday we are going to go ahead and tell everyone. Most of this will have to happen over the phone which is a bummer, but oh well. There aren't too many get togethers happening in February! Basically all of The OP's family knows (because he cannot stand to keep a secret), but none of my family and most of my friends don't know. I have told my parents, my closest aunt and uncle, my best friend, my best friend from childhood, and my closest cousin. That's it. They had all better be praying for me. I specifically requested that! :)

The Big Cat and my ma will be back today from their two week vacation. Can I get an Amen?!?! Their dogs are driving us insane. Two weeks is way too long to have three dogs in my little house. I'm taking those suckers home early and then I'm going to start to de-dog smell my house. It might take a while. Plus their dogs are depressed. They are used to being outside and running around a six acre yard. They definitely don't have that here. Sorry puppies.

5 weeks 4 days or 24 DPO

Rainy Tuesday

Wow, my life is boring this week. The parental units left for a 2-week vacation last Sunday so we are dog sitting. They have two shelties and add that to my Maddy and me and The OP and our house is crowded. It's not technicall crowded...just our living area. Their shelties are used to like 6-acres so needless to say they are less than thrilled. 2-weeks! Who in America takes a two week vacay to the Caribbean? No one, I say, no one. I'm rediculously jealous. REDICULOUSLY.

The OP finally got his new truck...now we just have to figure out what to do with the old one. I'm thinking that we would get $1,500.00 out of it tops, but I'm trying to figure out how much of a pain it will be to sell it. It really may not be worth it. We are considering donating it to our church. You know...pay it forward type thing. We're trying to be good people!

AF is late by a few days. I'm just waiting to see what happens. I don't feel any different. My temperature is still up, but not really rising as of yet. Honestly I feel like AF could start at any minute. I'm praying a lot. I'm praying that no matter what happens, God's will be done and that God will give me faith. But seriously, surely it could not have been this easy especially at a time when we shouldn't be pregnant.

Our internet at the house was finally fixed this morning! Can I get a halleluia?!?! Thank You, Lord! It's sad how much The OP and I missed the internet. Really really sad.

It's raining here. A rainy Tuesday in January...how bleak is that?

And thinking about my parents basking in the warm sun of the Caribbean...makes it even bleaker.

Cousin L

This weekend is the baby shower for cousin L and baby Ana. My entire family is really putting a lot into this and I really hope that everything goes well. We are having the shower at L's sister's house. We're worried about there being enough room. We haven't received hardly any regrets. I believe that people are making a concerted effort to attend due to the situation. It could be mass chaos. People that weren't even invited are coming. L used to live about five hours from where she lives now, well those people were planning on hosting a shower for her up there. Now with the baby already being here they just did a "gift" shower and are bringing all of those gifts to this shower. The love in the room is going to be overflowing. L deserves it...her husband does not. Ana definitely deserves it. Lord how I have prayed for that baby!

Just this morning I received two notices from people saying that they are getting a gift for me to take up to the shower for the baby. These people have maybe met L one-two times. They were not invited. The human spirit is a beautiful thing. I've been blessed to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people who really come through for you in the tough times. These people that called this morning...they love me, not L. BUT, they see through me the hardtimes that L is experiencing. It is truly a beautiful thing.

So, L's husband is immature, bi-polar, obnoxious, ADD, not ready to be a father, unsupportive, and on and on I could go. Obviously the bi-polar and the ADD are not his fault....but the way that he chooses to deal with those problems IS his fault. L must act like his mother at all times. She is going crazy keeping up with her husband and her baby and the baby is not even at home yet. I worry about her so much. We all do. My mother keeps reminding me that L knew all of this before she tried to become pregnant. I know that too. Sometimes I don't know how I feel about that. They have marriage problems, they live in a big city basically in the ghetto, their home is unfit for a child to live in, they both work full time and barely make ends meet, etc. And yet they tried to have a baby and were successful. L is, by the way, going to be a wonderful mother. She is a natural with children. I know in my heart that everything will turn out fine. Yes, it is not an IDEAL situation, but for L...it doesn't matter. She's not like me. I plan, I clean, everything is in it's place. Not L. At 29 weeks pregnant she had done NOTHING to get ready for a baby. She hadn't even cleaned out the room that would be the nursery, she hadn't bought anything for the baby, she hadn't signed up for a birth class, nothing. Yes...we are not very much alike. Like I said before, though, she has been my best friend since the day that I was born. I can't and won't leave her high and dry. I have personally spent more money on this baby than I would care to think about. When her husband is being a douche...I'm there. When Ana has a setback I'm there. And I always will be.

I need to do an entire post devoted to my insatiable need to take care of people.

The one who gave me life

I think that my mother is slightly freaking out because of me. When I told her about the PCOS, her stress began. There is a history of diabetes and heart disease in her family and since PCOS is a very hard thing to understand she became very worried about me. Of course, really since I have insulin resistance there is a REASON to worry. I'm just trying to not let it bother me. I had also not told anyone that we were trying for a baby. Well, when the diagnosis happened that changed that. I told her and my father that as soon as my blood work came back positively we would be starting our baby journey. You should have seen their faces. I was less than thrilled with their response. The OP and I are on the same page though. With this diagnosis I do not want to sit around and do nothing. We need to go ahead and start trying. Who gives a crap that our first wedding anniversary isn't until April. I would have started trying on our wedding night if it hadn't have been for "what other people though". Well, now I say screw what other people think (which is, of course, the attitude that I should have in all things) we are trying and we are going to go full tilt until we run out of funds or until we are emotionally spent. I said that word clomid to my mother the other day and I thought that she was going to fall out of her seat. Then she made ME almost fall out of my seat. "When I took Clomid, I didn't have any side effects,"She said. Huh? My mother took clomid? I knew that they had had trouble (hence, I'm an only child), but I just never knew any of the details. My mom is not one to talk about things like baby making, girly bits, etc.

I think that her main concern is that I'm rushing into this. That I'm going to use fertility drugs without trying on our own for a longer time. I understand her concern...I have the same ones. Basically our plan right now is to do what my doctor tells me to do and then when I go for my annual exam in June I will move on to an RE if nothing good has happened. That gives us six months of trying on our own. That's enough especially when I already know what my problem is.

I'm 26, mom! I'm not a baby anymore! Get a grip, please...I'm going to need your support :)

What's on tap?

...for this weekend, I mean.

I'm leaving work at 3:15 to get my hair done! YAHOOO...cut and hi-lite, here I come. Isn't it amazing how much better you feel after getting your hair cut. I love it!

Then I have to drive 45 minutes away to pick up D and C. Then when The OP gets home I'm going to go to the grocery and then I'm going to the mall to buy adorable preemie outfits for little Ana.

Tomorrow is C's birthday party at the pizza place with games. This place stresses me out and is not fun for me. PLUS, apparantly The OP's brother and sister's families are coming. That alone is going to do me in. BUT, C will love it and I want him to have fun. After that I will be cleaning my house and taking down the rest of my holiday decor (I know...I'm a slacker).

Sunday=church. Then I will be going to visit the cousin L and Ana. She is doing very well by the way. Off the respirator, only receiving oxygen through the c-pap, now gets her mommy's milk, etc. She's a fighter and we just pray that it stays that way!

Ummm what about Britney Spears? She has definitely got a serious case of the crazies. Her poor, poor children!

Merry Christmas and a Freak Out

The holiday was great, but it was also a struggle. I look forward to Christmas SO MUCH! But, alas, I ALWAYS get soooo stressed out. We had to travel so much. Just day trips, mind you, but those are sometimes the worst! Drive there, drive back. Yuck. I honestly DID have a good time with my family and nothing beats that cozy feel of Christmas. We had the boys all weekend and let's just face it they add a whole new dimension of stress to the story...you know what I mean. They are rambunctious, they fight, they don't appreciate ANYTHING. The OP and I go them a good amount of gifts...as much as we could afford. To compare the amount to what I got as a child it was less so one would think that I would be ok with it. I wasn't. When they were done opening gifts at our house and every other house that we visited...I felt like we had done them a disservice. I felt like calling them spoiled little brats because that's what they were acting like. Daddy and step-mommy were in bad moods most of the time because of them. The holidays brought the worst out in the children. That's a big fat yuck. First it saddens me that I felt this way about them. Of course, I tried to hide it. But they just bug the crap out of me. They were so obnoxious and unappreciative. Is this a normal feeling. I'm a horrible person, I think. Secondly, I'm mad that it tainted my holiday bliss that I like to enjoy. By the time that last night rolled around...The OP was DONE. He was in SUCH a bad mood. We were at my parent's house and I just knew that I had to get him home so that he could be alone (as alone as you can be in a 1700 sf house with two adults, two ROWDY kids, and a dog). So home we went and he got to watch his Westerns for a few hours which is all he wanted to be able to do all day. Poor boy was socially exhausted. The last straw was when D ate his dinner too fast and then proceeded to throw up all over my mother's half bath. The OP had to clean it up. He was pissed. heehee. We went home. We banished the boys to their room to play with all of their new toys, The OP stayed downstairs and watched his beloved westerns, and I...well, I went to bed at 10:00.

So, here's my other beef with the holidays. My baby wanting was much much more acute. I want to know why it is that I stress and mourn for something that I haven't even really struggled for yet? I don't feel as if I DESERVE to have these feelings, but yet I do. I have wanted a child for so long. My entire life I've known that I wanted to be a wife and a mommy above all else. So, when The OP and I became engaged that baby "step" became much more real to me. Then when we were married...I was already ready. That was eight months ago. Then came the P.C.O.S. and I just fear the unknown. I just hate not knowing. But, isn't that what everyone says about so many things in life. I know that I just have to trust God, pray for his guidance, and pray that he gives me wisdom. Over the last few days I don't know how many times the thought went through my head..."maybe by this time next year we will have a baby here with us!". Maybe, just maybe.

We went to Ohio to visit family. My cousin, Lala is pregnant. She and I are VERY close. We are nothing alike, but we share a bond that can only be found by two people who have known one another for their entire lives. Her baby is due March 18th and this was the first time that I had seen her with a true baby belly. I wanted to cry. I wanted to weep with happiness for her. I wanted to weep with WANT for myself. I couldn't stop looking at it. Ohh I just cannot wait to hold her child. The Wanting has never hit me as hard as it did when I was visiting with her.

The Wanting...

p.s. I think that I might have ovulated yesterday. I have had a clear thermal shift. Of course, then again you never know. It could just be my polycystic ovaries firing up to go and then going SPLAT!!!

Here's the weird part...

Ok, I'm about to blow everyone's mind. Here's my weirdness. BUT, I want to clarify that the only reason that I'm weird is BECAUSE of my husband.

The OPs father is married to the ex-wife's mother. So, basically the bee-otch is The OPs ex-wife and step sister all in the same swoop. Now, mamaw and papaw didn't get married until about four years ago, but let's face it this only makes this situation slightly less weird. The other saving grace about it is that The OPs real siblings really dislike Mamaw's daughters so we never have to do anything with them as "one big happy family". Thank. the. Lord.

The OP, though, actually likes mamaw's daughters (other than the bee-otch). So, at this present time my husband's ex-wife's sister and her husband are staying at our house. Now, if you didn't know all of that other background this would be weird. Heck...it's still weird no matter how you pull it. That's why when The OP told me about this visit, I was less than thrilled. I don't mind to spend time and visit, but they STAYED THE NIGHT. They are alone in our house this morning while WE ARE AT WORK. I'm taking them to the airport in a few hours. I hid a lot of stuff and I wish I had a camera to see if they snoop around. I like these two, really I do but I don't know them all that well and neither, really, does The OP. PLUS, the step-sister is always going to be the ex-wife's sister, first and foremost. I'm convinced that she is at my house this very minute going through our stuff. Looking in the boys room to see if we have adequate accomodations for them, looking through our night stand to try to find something incriminating, looking through our important papers, etc. I'm imagining it all. I've never had an experience like this. Ummm actually probably no one has had an experience like this. My dog better be in one piece when I get home. Of course my honey is not worried about any of this. He told me I was crazy. Isn't there some statistic that like 75% of people will look in the cabinets when they are using the restroom at someone elses home. These people have hours to do this. Then I'm wondering...what would I do if I were in their situation? I honestly have no idea. GAH...I can't wait until this is over!

Can't quit thinking about IT today

Today I have exchanged a few emails with a good friend of mine that I haven't previously told about my baby fever or my P.C.O.S. In her first email she asked me how I was doing. For some reason I answered her and spilled my guts. Talk about a long email. To explain PCOS to someone that has never heard of it is really an insurmountable task. I feel like I could write a book about it and I've only been diagnosed for five weeks. She's probably been completely overwhelmed reading my emails. I should have just called her. Some things are just easier to get off of your chest when you can type it out. (hence this is why I have a blog).

So how AM I doing with my syndrome? I'm fine. The side effects are getting to be fewer and fewer. They are really random and unpredictable, but they're nothing that I can't handle. I honestly do not feel any different and this worries me. My theory is that if the Met is working and my insulin is more regulated shouldn't I have more energy??!? I guess that I should preface that by saying that I've never in my life felt like I didn't have enough energy. I've felt fine really...I've never felt overly tired, I've never noticed any change. So really I don't know. It's just another conundrum of PCOS. The longer this goes on the more questions I have and the more I want to go and see and RE sooner rather than later. This syndrome is just SO complicated. I'm really trying to do more and more research on the internet. There are so many infertility blogs made by women just like me, but I can't seem to find someone that it just like me...I guess that's what I'm looking for. Someone that has my same symptoms, problems, side effects, etc. It's very hard to wade through all of it.

Can I also say that there are babies everywhere in my life. I'm definitely not bitter by any means about all of this yet. For goodness sake it has only been a few months. But, I am inpatient. God is teaching me a lesson. Anyway, babies are everywhere. Births, showers, bellies, babies babies babies. I can see where this gets to be very disheartening for many women in the long run. I've just got to keep a positive attitude because once my attitude turns that corner to sour...it's very hard for me to get it back.

My cousin who is three years younger than me is going to be a first time daddy with his new wife. They got married last January and she was pregnant by July. She was married before and has a 7 year old daughter, apparantly she got divorced the first time because she cheated. Well, she has now cheated on my cousin. I've known this little tidbit of information since September. I CANNOT EXPLAIN how hard this has been for me to not tell other people in my family. My cousin's brother is the one that told me. I know, my husband knows and my aunt and uncle know. That's it. So, this woman cheated on my cousin when she ALREADY KNEW THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT!!! Can you even believe it? My cousin doesn't know that I know. Ever since then I have just felt sooo bad for him. He doesn't deserve this. His brother told me that he has forgiven her and that they are working through it, but I think that things are not going well. I cannot imagine how hard this is for him. Don't you think that he secretly questions if the child is even his? I would. Let me tell you something, though. He will know the minute that the baby is born if she's not his. That family has the strongest genes imaginable. I'm telling you...we will all know. I think that it's just a matter of time before the rest of the family finds out. I don't know if their marraige will survive it. How am I supposed to keep holding on to this secret? I am soooo angry at her, but yet I have to act like things are a-ok. I love him like a little brother and I just want him to be happy. Yuck.

Christmastime

Can I just say that this is BY FAR my most favorite time of the year. Christmas is something that I look forward to all year long. It's not necessarily about Christmas day but it's about the season as a whole. The tree, the lights, the baking, the church services, the shopping...all of it. I love it. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am a sucker for family time and the holiday season is chalk full of it. Last weekend we went and saw the movie Fred Claus. We had heard mixed reviews about this movie so I was a little anxious about seeing it, but we took the boys and my mom and we went. I was in heaven. It was Christmas galore and the movie really did have a great message. Of course, the movie was no Forest Gump, but it was great. I was beaming when I left the theatre. I can't help being a sucker.

Every year our company adopts a family that needs help. THIS is the other thing that I love about the season. I look forward to helping these people all year long. If I had money I would do this for people all the time because I love it soooo much. This year our family is from my hometown and we found them through some people that we know in the school system. The family consists of a mom and a dad who both work full time but don't have any health insurance and they barely make it. There is a grandmother with whom the family has had to move in with. They have five children. Ages: 6,7,8,9,10. We bought them tons of clothes, some toys, toiletries, dry goods, and we were able to put a few hundred dollars towards the family's electric bill. I dream about the looks on those children's faces as they open their gifts. I can only imagine the relief that their parents will feel.

The OP and I aren't buying gifts for one another. We're buying new living room furniture. Glory be to God! No more slipcovers, no more 20 year old couches, no more feeling like I still live in a dorm room.

Holiday Weekend Recap

Wednesday, November 21

• Annual Deer Roast at work. We have this in honor of all of our employess so that they know that they are appreciated. It's a nice event...even if management has to work their a**es off to pull the whole thing off.
• Go home and make corn casserole for Turkey Day.

Thursday, November 22 - ie; Turkey Day

• Go to Ohio with ma and pop...sans husband. He wanted to go hunting. He whined, he begged, he pleaded, he went. I really didn't mind actually. In hindsight, you will see that it was a good thing...Let's continue.
• On the way to Ohio receive call from good friend's husband. She is in active labor. Five and a half weeks early. Commence worrying.
• Eat at Grandma's. Protect my 4 year old cousin (who I love dearly dearly) from my aunt's crazy, spastic dog.
• Receive call from Husband's grandmother. The OPs father is in the hospital. Blood Clot in his lung. So, let's review about The OPs father. The OP and his daddy (yes, my husband is 30 YEARS OLD and he calls his father "daddy"...I think it's cute) are tight. When I say tight I mean the umbilicle cord might as well be attached between the two of them. So, when "daddy" goes to the hospital it's a HUGE deal. ALSO, the thing is that "daddy" is only 51 and he is in the hospital religiously. I'm serious. I'm not trying to make light of this fact but really, he is. So, I commence to worrying about "daddy".
• Receive call from good friend...the baby boy has arrived safe and sound. He's in the NICU but needs no help breathing. 4lbs. 6 oz. I'm breathing slightly easier now.

Friday November 23, 2007

• Visit Daddy in the hospital for approximately five hours.
• Eat lunch
• Go home and clean clean clean clean. By the way...T-minus 24 hours until the in-laws are packed like sardines into my little house eating my turkey. My stress level is at the maximum.
• The OP goes and picks up the boys from their mom. They arrive at our house with a fresh dose of nasty attitude and he and I want to strangle both of them within five minutes of their arrival. We proceed to really tick them off when we ban them from using the downstairs bathroom. They look at us with faces that say, "what the heck?". I explain that I already spent an hour cleaning that bathroom and I DON'T want to have to do it again. Little boys = not good at aiming for the toilette.
• We eat frozen pizza for dinner.
• I'm am struck with an EVEN WORSE headache than I have already had ALL day. I start to feel sweaty and nauseaus. I go to bed at 9:00. I feel absolutely horrible.

Saturday November 24, 2007

• The day dawns and I no longer have a headache, but am instead filled with dread for the coming 12 hours.
• "daddy" is still in the hospital. Still feeling a sense of dread and worry.
• The OP and I commence to a day full of cleaning, cooking, planning, and trying to time things perfectly while trying to keep the boys entertained and behaving. (I need to think of a nickname for them for this blog...I'll work on that).
• Receive phone call from "daddy" himself...he's out of the hospital. WHAT?!?! umm hello? He will be at the dinner tonight. Repeat look of amazement. How is this possible you ask? I have no idea....don't ask. Just go with it.
• Guests begin to arrive, the temperature on our 1st floor begins to rise, and rise, and rise. I begin to sweat and I don't stop.
• I'm cooking, re-heating what other people brought, setting stuff out. We eat. And then the clean up begins.
• I never knew my kitchen was so small. I'm overwhelmed. I'm still sweating.
• Sister in law gets ticked off. Long story.
• Everyone leaves by 6:30 (we ate at 5:15) except for The OPs sister. I'm thinking I did all that work for THAT!
• So, to quickly re-cap. The food and the presentation was amazing. I was sooooo proud of us. But, let's face it chargers and cloth napkins were lost on this crowd. The turkey was juicy, the mashed potatoes were perfection. Need I say more?

Sunday November 25, 2007

• My Birthday! Here was the plan. Go to church, go to lunch with the family, go see Fred Claus. That's what I wanted to do.
• Here's what really happened. Wake up, the five year old wakes up with a low grade fever and a sore throat. I go to church with the seven year old. The seven year old has an attitude and doesn't want to eat brunch with the family, I take him home to comiserate with his daddy and his sick brother. I eat brunch. My mom and dad come over with a homemade cake (have I mentioned how much I love my mother) and gifts.
• That evening The OP wanted me to go with him to take the boys to their mom. I said no. It was my birthday...not seeing her was a gift all to itself.
• I developed another headache and went to bed hoping that it would go away.

So, that was it. Five days of madness with not a relaxing moment in sight. Gotta love the holidays.

Fever Update

So, today I stepped up my metf.ormin intake to 1,000 mg. So far I've had very minimal side effects. As we have already established on this blog I am an worry wart. Basically I'm thinking that either I'm not going to feel the side effects until I get up to 1,500 mg or it's not working at all.

I have done a horrible job about working on my diet and I haven't been to the gym in A WEEK! I just can't help it...this Thanksgiving thing is really overwhelming me and I just can't do it all. I know that I have to, though. So, next week I will. I promise.

Does anyone else in this world feel like the internet is a double edged sword? Through the internet it's like the world is at your finger tips. Shopping, researching, chatting, anything you want it's there. For me, it has become too much. I read blogs, I read message boards, I read medical papers....and all of these things are scaring the shite out of me! I just can't help it though...I just keep reading. What I'm reading is not good. Why oh why do I torture myself?!?!?

Also, here in the land of Thanksgiving...I'm tired of cooking. Why is my family like this? Here's the list.

1. Sunday - Thanksgiving w/ Dad's family; pumpkin pecan pie, asparagus casserole, spinach artichoke dip
2. Wednesday - Thanksgiving at work; brownies, no bake cookies (enough to feed 80 people)
3. Thursday - Thanksgiving w/ Mom's family; corn casserole
4. Saturday - Thanksgiving w/ the in-laws; Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cooked carrots...also add in clean the entire house to this list.

Also, here in the land of Christmas shopping...little boys have boring clothing. That's why I need a little girl (PLEASE GOD!!!). Boys wear jeans, track pants, t-shirts, sweatshirts, and polo shirts. My boys won't wear sweaters, vests, zip up hoodies...blah blah blah. Their mother has ensured that they don't have good taste.

I'm cooking up a post about being a wife to a person with an ex-wife, being a step mom, etc. We'll see.

Sentimental Value

So, my dad is not really a sappy, sentimental guy, but he IS crazy about sentimental value. Yesterday had to rank way up there on his sentimental value-o-mometer. We celebrated Thanksgiving at our family farm...which we have never done before.

Here's the background: My grandparents immigrated to the U.S. from Germany in 1956. The very first thing that they purchased and paid off here was a couple hundred acre farm in the rural part of my state. You see, their families had lost EVERYTHING during World War II and my grandfather knew that living in the land of freedom, if you own property...no one can ever take that away. So, this land, is like everything to us. It will never be sold, never be divided, it will always be in our family.

Up until this year, the farm was just a hunting place and the occasional place to go ride ATV's, go fishing, etc. Then this year my father and my uncle decided that they old farm house just wouldn't do anymore and they commenced to building a cabin. This cabin turned into quite the thing. Example: The TV's in the cabin are nicer than all of the TVs in my dad's own home! So, yesterday we gathered and spent time with one another. It was a beautiful day and I think that everyone thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

It's days like yesterday when I am reminded of just how blessed my life is. I'm reminded that I need to live in the now and be grateful for every breath that I get to take.

************************************************************************************

On Saturday I spent $200.00 at the big box store that starts with a W. I nearly died. Right there in the line. I'm never going to get new furniture. Stupid Food. AND everybody in the various families that I'm associated with is currently up in arms about gift exchanges. We don't have the money!!! Why is it so hard for people to understand? We have children to buy for and they are our FIRST priority.
Although, I do feel distinctly sorry for The OPs father and step-mother. Pepaw has three children and Memaw has four. All of their children are married and all of them except one have children of their own. Several of those children married people that already had children. They have seven kids to buy for, seven spouses to buy for, and NINETEEN grandkids to buy for. God bless their souls.

A few things of note...

• One of my very best friends has just found out that she is going to be a mommy! I'm thrilled for her and her husband. They will be WONDERFUL parents. Shoot! I'm excited for myself...it's another baby to hold :)
• Can I just say that outlet mall shopping should be a sport. Saturday, my friends and I would have won the gold.
• The aforementioned nurse practicioner has STILL not called me back about my bloodwork. I'm getting irritated. If there is something wrong with me I NEED TO KNOW! She has definitely already lost her "god-like" status.
• The OP is getting on my nerves.
• Step Son #1 apparently thought that it would be a good idea to cut his own hair last week. He's SEVEN YEARS OLD...I mean come on, shouldn't he be beyond that sort of thing by now? His mom made him go to school with his butchered hair and he got made fun of. Serves him right. Then The OP made fun of him...yea, he'll definitely never do that again.
• Hunting, Hunting and more Hunting. That's all we hear about around here. I'll be so glad when it's over. You would think that I would be used to it by now.

It's a Bust

So cycle one is over...a few days earlier than I had expected I might add. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.

I'm sad, but like I said previously I'm trying not to get too wrapped up. It's just hard though.

On to the next!

Tomorrow I'm going for a consult because I want to have my thyro.id checked. I have very low waking basal body temperatures and that is a symptom of hypothy.roidism. Uncontrolled hypothy.roidism can cause a lot of problems with conception and with staying pregnant. I don't want problems. This needs to be investigated. So that's what I'm going to do.

In other news...Gi.ada Delau.rentiis is pregnant. First of all, she makes me (and every other woman that I know) SICK. She is a chef specializing in Italian food. She probably weighs 100 lbs and she has the best body.ever. How do you cook authentic italian food and eat italian food and look like that? I need some of her genes. Also, I'm sure that she will be THE CUTEST pregnant lady ever. I think that she looks like the nicest, sweetest person in the world. I wish her the best but...blech!

In yet other news...my sisters in law are out of control. I called them to discuss Thanksgiving and told them to just let me know what they wanted to bring. I told them that we are definitely making the turkey, gravy, and mashed potatos and that we will make whatever else other people prefer not to make. So, I figured that they would email me back and say that they wanted to bring one to two items. One says she is bringing four dishes and the other says she is bringing three! ummmm ok. My mom says that I'm overreacting and that I should be grateful that they want to bring so many things. Fine. I'm grateful.

Let's skip the bird...who's with me?

Yes, Could we? Why do I want to skip the bird this year, you ask. Well, it's because I have to make the bird...for the first time...for my in-laws (GASP!!!!). I'm really really really not looking forward to it. The OP and I have a nice enough house, but it is definitely not big enough for ten adults and at least six kids. BESIDES the fact that the in-laws are not the most harmonious group in the world (that's an understatement). Yes, I love them and they are not the worst possible scenario, but everything is certainly not rosey all the time. In my type-A, worry wart mind I'm thinking of 171 ways that this thing could turn into World War III. GAWD...the chaos of it all, it's giving me the shivers just thinking about it!

This is November the 5th. Thanksgiving is November the 22nd. I'm already obsessing. In fact I've been obsessing since September. I kid you not people. It's going to get worse so just hold on to your hats.